Kill Me Now!

About the book

The author spends his time trying to find the ONE, his soulmate, that special someone that he will spend the rest of his life with. Where is she hiding? Have they crossed paths before? Is she out there? While searching for Ms. Right, the author goes looking for love and gets into the strangest...

Kill Me Now!

Tag Archives: killmenow

My Next Life” by George Carlin

george_carlin_0203

MY NEXT LIFE by George Carlin I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you’re too young to work. You get ready for High School: …

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What do you think about Louis Vuitton handbags?

Can I buy this instead of a Louis Vuitton handbag?

Louis Vuitton handbags My wife has a thing about Louis Vuitton handbags. We disagree on this issue. She says that they are gorgeous and stylish and I say they are hideous. I must admit that I do not know much about what women refer to as fashion, I do know what I like and what I don’t like. I guess I am abnormal in that way. However the long suffering wife informed me that she wants a Louis Vuitton handbag …

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How to hack online dating

Online dating

Online Dating Online dating is the rage today. I met my wife on JDate, a site where Jewish people can meet or as I found out, where some people can meet Jews to date. There are a plethora of these sites available and more being added as we speak. Oops another one added! On these sites, the most important thing is your profile. I have discussed this often.  At no stage did I think that there was a chance of …

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Learn to dance to go on a date

Learn to dance

Learn to dance is good for picking up women. Or so they say! One of the ancient rituals to pick up women, is at a dance. In the movies, you always hear the guy say, “May I ask you to dance?” or at a school dance, you see all the males on one side and all the females on the other, heaven forbid they should mix. Many people think that dancing leads to sex and therefore there should be no …

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Satan appears

Satan appears

A few minutes before the service is scheduled to begin, and just as the congregation is sitting quietly waiting, Satan appears. God’s prosecutorial angel, Satan himself. Instantly there is total panic. Members begin running towards the exits screaming. Many are trampled on as they fall in their frantic effort to get away from the devil. And within minutes, the hall is empty – empty that is except for James, a grey-haired 75 year old man who remains sitting calmly in his …

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