Kill Me Now!

About the book

The author spends his time trying to find the ONE, his soulmate, that special someone that he will spend the rest of his life with. Where is she hiding? Have they crossed paths before? Is she out there? While searching for Ms. Right, the author goes looking for love and gets into the strangest...

Kill Me Now!

Author Archives: Lawrence Fisher

My Next Life” by George Carlin

george_carlin_0203

MY NEXT LIFE by George Carlin I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you’re too young to work. You get ready for High School: …

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Meeting on the golf course, a joke

Golf course

My good friend Ed, from my award winning book, sent me this joke by email and I felt I had to share it. It is about a meeting on the golf course.  It may be a bit rude for some of you. A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him on the golf course and went to her  and said “Can you please help me, I don’t know what hole I’m …

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Playing Solitaire for all you lonely hearts out there

Solitaire's the only game.

Solitaire’s the name of the game After Valentine, I was thinking about some people who said that they had no one to be with on Valentine’s day and before I said “Bah humbug”, I felt that I owed them a mention. One woman I know has sworn off dating. She loved someone who did not love her back. So she gave it up for a life alone, with cats. I heard this old Carpenter’s song on the radio and I …

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Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. The art of matchmaking.

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Matchmaking has been around for a long time. Arranged marriages, considered a type of matchmaking, is in-bred in many cultures. Two sets of parents get together and decide that their children will marry one another when they are old enough. This can be for economic, political, cultural or religious reasons and it is irrelevant what the children themselves may want. In the Eddie Murphy movie, “Coming to America“, Murphy who portrays the crown prince to the throne of a fictitious …

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Time for some jokes

Some jokes to lighten your mood

Some jokes to lighten the mode How long has it been since you had a good laugh? Here are some jokes. Please bear in mind that some of them are quite rude. I hope I do not offend anyone. South Brooklyn Tony ON MATH South Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. “Why?” asks the father. The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3,’ I said ’6,’” replies TONY. “But that’s right!” says his dad. …

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