Sappy Love Songs
We all know about those sappy love songs that tell us to fall in love and how wonderful forever will be. Those same love songs even may get us to the “Forever” part, but very few give us any practical advice on what long term relationships will be like. What we don’t hear is the less flowery more gritty everyday songs about love.
Here are five love songs that somebody should write, that might actually be useful:
That’s Not What I Mean
Definitions are a tricky thing. They become even trickier if you assume that the way you define something (like: love, commitment, boyfriend/girlfriend, dating, meeting the parents) means the same thing to your partner. This is where people really get into big trouble. Don’t assume that your understanding of something, is everyone’s understanding, particularly your partners. When in doubt, or even if you’re not, ask your partner how they define certain things that may be critical to your relationship in the future. I assure you, this will head off many problems before they start.
What You See is What You Get
Sure when you meet, they aren’t perfect, but you see them as a project to fix and clay to mold. I’m here to tell you that the person you meet, is the person that will always be in the relationship. I’m not saying people can’t change, but if they do, it’s because they want to change, not because you changed them into something else. You should be happy with the “basic model” as it were. Any changes are upgrades, but are not “must haves” in order for you to be happy.
Time Alone Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Love You
One of the things that music pushes on us, is the idea that in order to prove you’re in love you have to be together 24/7. Time together is good. Time never apart is not. Give each other a chance to miss the other. If you partner asks for and needs time alone, encourage and support it. People often need time alone to recharge and reflect, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
Don’t Assume You Know What I’m Feeling
One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is that they assume they know what their partner is thinking and/or feeling. When we hit particularly crunchy patches with our partner, sometimes we prefer to assume then to actually ask them what’s going on. Doing that is damaging to your relationship and oftentimes what you assume they feel and what they really feel are not the same thing. So the next time you wonder what is going on with your partner, simply ask them.
I’m a Blanket Hog, Love Me Anyway
This one might be an issue unique to my marriage, but I will say it anyway. People have very different sleeping styles. I bet you didn’t even know there were styles did you? Some people can share blankets and some wrap themselves up like a burrito. Don’t let this be a point of friction in your relationship. Come up with a solution (like separate blankets) and love them anyway. Trust me there are way worst things they could do.
Cija Black is a love expert, author, blogger, online educator and podcast personality on Love Bombs. For more information about the Cija, the books, class or podcast visit modernloveguide.com
Lawrence is a social media enthusiast and a blogger who loves writing about dating and promoting other authors. He is also a programmer with many years of experience. Check out his book and you will laugh. Do keep in touch with him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter and on Google+. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.